I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
