I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
