the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
