why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
do nipples grow back?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
