Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
