I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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