Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
MIDGETS
????
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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