When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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