yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
