I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
