so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
