so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
