I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
