She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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