you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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