I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
