Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
