What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am midnight drunk by noon
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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