So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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