i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
