I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
