It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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