How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
