Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
