You smell like stripper and shame
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
