Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
