Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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