You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize