and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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