Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
