It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
