three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
