we're blogging at a bar
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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