dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
