man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
