i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
