So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
