Please, let me fuck your mom
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
