Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
