So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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