I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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