You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
