No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
