i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
