I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Panties = found
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
