I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
