if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
