Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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