On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
