Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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