I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
