i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
