Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
