The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
