Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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