I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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