Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
