You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
