So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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