I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
