He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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