You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Michael Bay diarrhea
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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