no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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